Namaste!

This week was all about my friend, Erin. We wanted to celebrate her amazingness with a surprise evening of cocktails and French cuisine. The event was to occur on Thursday evening. I had a map created in my mind of the places I would need to visit to obtain all of the ingredients for the meal, and in my head scheduled routes to and from work and the specialty shops along the way. Also, I knew that most of the preparation and COOKING would occur Wednesday night. Monday I found that my first stop did not have the Gruyere cheese I was seeking, but I considered the setback minimal, as there were at least two more scheduled. Tuesday morning, my CHECK ENGINE SOON light came on in my car on the way to work. I drove carefully, laughing at the light, because I knew that getting to the source was a few days and many miles away. Calling the neighborly auto shop revealed that that their work hours are very similar to mine, but also found that they are open on Saturdays. A call to my dad assured me that a few more miles as long as the car felt fine would not hurt the engine. Good. My roommate offered to relieve me of a task that may have disallowed me to join my friends for cocktails, and I accepted his gracious offer.

The old Mary would have stayed at work an extra two and a half hours Tuesday night to prepare for a sub so she could spend her day battling traffic to get her car to the shop. The old Mary would have said no to the kind offer, not wanting to trouble anyone. The old Mary would have driven from store to store Monday evening to find that darn cheese. But something within me has changed. I do what I can each step of the way and consider it good, knowing that the details will work themselves out along the way if I give room for them to do so. I call a knowledgeable friend for questions I do not know the answers to. I kick off my shoes when I arrive home and bask in the space that is my haven. And you know, friends then call me to offer their help. The magic is that in giving grace to myself to not have to do it all, have it all or be it all, I allow others the grace to give, as well. I still share myself in the world, just not at the expense of myself. I truly do laugh a lot more and worry a lot less—cliché phrase, I know, but I get it now.

My darling Aunt Joy called to let me know that her daughter’s family was to be in town from Thursday through Monday. The old Mary would have rushed over as soon as her Saturday morning yoga class was over to spend as much time as possible with family, requiring lots of rushing (and later requiring an intense nap on their den couch). But today, I realized that there was no need to rush. I enjoyed my day. Chatted with students after my class, enjoyed a lovely lunch snuggled in the corner of my couch, indulged in a brief post-lunch nap, enjoyed fresh-brewed coffee with dear friends who stopped by on their way out of the country… and then I brought my car over to those neighborly folks in Ballard who had spent nearly thirty minutes looking at my car last summer without letting me pay or even bring thank-you coffee… In the waiting room, I enjoyed great conversation with another patron- with whom I think I may become friends. I found a parking spot about three quarters of a mile from the ferry terminal and enjoyed a brisk walk amidst the sprinkles along the water’s edge along with the tourists and locals showing off Seattle to visiting family. Right now I sit upon a bright orange bench in front of the salty sound, catching bits of conversations in at least three languages, listening to the clicks of the entry machines, feeling the air swirl around me as people rush by in a hurry to get on the ferry that is not even here, yet. After purchasing my ticket I called my Uncle Craig to let him know that I would be catching the 5:30 ferry. He said that would bring me in at 6:30, and Aunt Joy will pick me up- so nice. I have made this day mine. I am relaxed, prepared, care-free– happy.

Mary Watts,
Director of Enrichment & Retreats
La Familia Gallery LLC

In the middle of an exhalation, someone rapped loudly at the door. I tilted out of my demonstration and walked in that direction, thinking perhaps someone needed to use the space. As I neared, I heard the loud rapping again, and realized that it came not from the door, but from the windows in the back of the room; I turned my head in time to witness a pre-teen-ish child making his escape, swinging his arms as he hurriedly loped off to catch up with his family and not be completely caught.

My first instinct as a middle-school teacher was to run out and read him his rights, (it is just not right that he would do that! His family was right there! Don’t they know how to teach their children manners?) but my (thankfully) yogi instinct was to just let him go. Let him be. Let it be.

And you know? I did. I let it be, exhaled a bit deeper in that moment, and all was more than well. 

Biking home today, the idea of discernment bounced itself back and forth in my mind. By definition, it is ‘the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure,’ and more so, to ‘distingu(ish) what is true or appropriate.’

So, where this affects me… We all have choices to make in the scope of our lives; the scope of our days, moments. In this day and age we can do anything we want. We just cannot do everything we want.

I realize that I need to practice my skill of discernment little more pointedly, intentionally, so that I may live more fully the life I choose. I have always been open to trying ‘this and that’ and going ‘here and there’– those ‘everythings’ and ‘everywheres’ have certainly had their place in my life, and oftentimes been the root of fantastic adventure, but I am seeing now that they can also get in the way of what I now want, maybe even holding me back.

So, I’m ridding my life of what I don’t want or need to make room for that which I do, because the same rule applies; I can also have anything I want, just not everything I want. I make the choice. We all do. Each and every day. Where you go, who you spend your time with, how you spend your mornings, evenings, leisure time, work hours, finances… Make your choices count. I am.

Hmmmmm- the possibilities…

Mary Watts,
Director of Yoga & Retreats